A synopsis of me!

My last few years have been filled with travel and visiting and NOT BEING home.  I miss home with such an intense desire that I can almost taste it.  I miss Clyde even more but he has an aversion to flying and he isn't much of a travel buddy.  BUT a week after being home I get twitchy because the house is in a continual state of cluttered UnDONEness.  So much to do and not enough time, money or desire to change that and I start to itch to travel again. 

What will follow here will be just a taste of my travels. I took lots of fun pictures that will help you to experience the fun with me.  This is actually more for me than you.  As I start to get deeper into my 60s it will help me to remember the life events that shaped me, the things I did, the places I went and how much fun I had or didn't have, with those who's faces are quickly becoming blurred against the activity.  As a side note, you should probably know that I am NOT like my mother, in that, IF I remember your name, how I knew you and the fun we had, YOU are indeed a special individual.  My children are lucky I remember their names and can place that memory with their faces. 

These are some of the important events leading up to my crazy 2 years.  I intend on just touching on my most significant ones as I am sure there will be times I will need to refer back to them and these will be the topics of pictures and other things as my blog goes on.  I PROMISE this will be the longest blog I will do as this goes forward BUT again... THIS particular blog IS more for me than YOU.

1981 MAY - Got married to my children's father

1982 NOVEMBER - My eldest child was born. She was so tiny and adorable and made me what I had always dreamed I wanted to be.  She made me a MOM.  More than that, she has become almost a friend now that her 20s for significant have been left behind. She always did reach out to me and allowed me to share in her life, which I appreciated immensely. The others don't really include me in on their accomplishments and failures.  I have to find out about those on FB.  They don't call me when they are sick just to hear their mom's voice or take me on trips or vacations cuz we both would enjoy it. 

1984 JUNE - My middle child was born.  A boy.  In my family there were only girls.  My mother had 3 girls, my oldest sister had 3 girls and my older sister had 2 girls.  I always had definite ideas on how a boy should be raised but they seem to have their own ideas on how they should be raised that ends up superseding what we want, however he has always lived up to my hopes and desires more than any son ever could.

1985 NOVEMBER - My youngest child was born.  A beautiful little girl who challenged me endlessly, questioned things I believed in and helped me to view the world in a different framework.  She never thought she was ENOUGH and I could never figure out why.  I always admired her tenacity to work around any circumstance, no matter how difficult.  Her honesty and love for life was what makes me smile and realize she is MY kid.

1986 DECEMBER - Got divorced from my children's father.

1990 JULY - Got married to my second husband

1998 DECEMBER - Clyde moved in with me.  After two failed marriages I just wanted him to be a friend - MY friend, not a dad to the kids or a boyfriend, but he had other ideas and it turned quickly into a lot more.  He stuck it out and for that I will always be eternally grateful.  He calms my demons and those of you that know me... REALLY know me... know how important THAT is!

2001 MAY - My eldest graduated High School - she was in the IB program.  I remember school, for her, was always a breeze.  She never had a lot of friends but those that she did have were very good friends.  Even when she was in school she wanted me to be a part of whatever was happening and I knew all her friends and most of their parents.  This child took with her honesty, creativity and determination.

I always felt that as a parent my one main sole job was to see to it, in whatever means available, that each of my children graduated high school and KNEW deep in their souls that school didn't end until they got their degree in college.  NOW I think back and realize that I wasn't always specific enough.  They needed to get schooling in whatever they loved doing so they wouldn't have to ever rely on someone else to help them get through life to live comfortable AND ESP so they were able to take care of their mother when she got old and senile.  I stressed college but college has become a expensive piece of worthless paper in our economy, and if you didn't choose your degree combining what you loved and what jobs were out there it would not accomplish the "taking care of mom thing".  THAT IS COMING UP, BTW, KIDS!!! Just saying!

2002 MAY - My son graduated High School. What I remember most from that day was watching him walk up to me after the ceremony in his cap and gown.  He handed me his diploma.  I looked at him and he said, "YOU earned this.  Thank you for being my mom!"  I get tears in my eyes whenever I remember that because when you are a MOM you are always expected to just be there and the stuff you do for your kids isn't always fun for either of you.  Dads are the fun ones typically!  Keeping this child in school and keeping him focused on achieving was a full time job. He never thought he was smart enough but I knew so much better.  It is sooo awesome now to watch him achieving the sky and more.  This child took with him honesty, integrity and didn't know the meaning of "can't". 

2002 MAY - Clyde decided to take a job over the road trucking.  I WAS NOT A FAN.

2002 JULY - My son - joined the Marines.  This changed my life EMENSELY.  It changed how I thought, what interested me and how I viewed the world.  This event changed my viewpoint on politics and actually made me care about those that we elected and the choices they made on my behalf once they were elected.  A little warning... IF you do not really want to talk to about politics, do NOT bring up a subject that could lead into that because I now have had years to do research and study and I am alone a lottttt so when I get the chance to talk to another human being, I engage!!  I was called MOTO mom... THEY all hated my car as it had Marine Corp stickers and later Navy stickers all over it. 

2002 AUGUST - My eldest daughter left for her second year in college but her first away from home.  This was another defining moment.  Two of my kids were out of the house in two months AND Clyde was over the road.  This left me alone with my youngest daughter who was 16 and at one of her most difficult stages.  It was this time, however, that we bonded more than ever.  I loved this time alone with her.    

2003 JUNE - My daddy died.  He was the strongest, most honest, hard working and comical guy I knew.  I miss him on a daily basis.  His little jokes cause me to reflect on life, basically I can't go past a cemetery without commenting, "DO YOU KNOW why that fence is up there around the cemetery???  BECAUSE people are dying to get in there!!!  hahahaha I so crack myself up!  There was a standing joke in my family that I was my daddy's favorite (and it wasn't much of a joke, it was the honest to god truth but shhhhhh don't tell my sister).  One of the most important things he taught me was honesty and loyalty. 

2004 MAY - My youngest child graduated High School.  It was such a relief to feel like my days of taking care of the world was over.  BOY was I wrong.  This single act of graduating from High School was the most incredible thing for this child.  She realized that she could do anything she wanted and all she really wanted, at that time, was to move out of the house.  She had a hard time throughout school and if I could magically do one thing, it would be to have her teenage years back and redo.  Through it all, she turned out to be an awesome adult... strong, determined and loving. 

2004 MAY - My eldest child graduated college with a degree in Marketing.

2004 SEPT 11 - My son got deployed for what seemed like a lifetime to Iraq.  He was there when they knocked down Fallujah and when all the Iraqis were finally able to vote, showing their purple fingers as they walked out of the polling places that he and his brothers guarded.  I can't even talk about this time because it brings tears to my eyes but this was when my hair suddenly stopped being blond.

2005 APRIL - My boy returned to the states.  It was the most moving moment of my entire life.  AND I couldn't find him when I went to the Depot to see him and all his brothers arrive.  I hadn't slept in 9 months.  I was dog (Devil Dog) tired.  I was insanely upset until his commanding officer found me, asked his name and was able to yell his name above all the craziness and noise.  THAT hug will always be something I remember when I am scared or lonely or sad.  THAT HUG!!!

2005 DECEMBER - My son married his wife.  It was an insanely quick romance, as only Marines, esp those that have been deployed tend to have.  She is a strong, resourceful and wonderful woman that has stuck by him through all the Marine Corp craziness.  I constantly marvel at her ability to succeed in her business and as a mom and wife. 

2006 AUGUST - My youngest child joined the Navy Reserves.  She needed the stability and at first I was disappointed she joined the Reserves.  I felt she needed to get away from the neighborhood and her friends for awhile but she showed me it was the right decision.  She stayed in for 8 years and it made a huge difference in how she deals with life and those who want to be in it with her.  THANKFULLY she never deployed.  She did however spend her 2 weeks out of the country every year which gave her that taste of  "seeing the world".

2006 DECEMBER - My son and his wife got married again, but this time for all of us.

2007 MARCH - Got divorced from my second husband.  He moved out of the house in 1998 so I lived in "sin" for 8 years causing it to be a low impact divorce. Alcohol abuse was a theme with both my ex-husbands.

2007 MAY - My eldest married a wonderful man.  The ceremony was spectacular and the setting was story book. 

2007 AUGUST - Clyde slipped off a semi step and severely injured his back.

2008 APRIL - Clyde was diagnosed with an extremely fast moving bladder cancer and had the bladder which supposedly contained all the cancer removed. 
 
2009 APRIL - I got laid off from my job.  It was like a snowball rolling downhill.  My eldest told me to find what moves me and throw myself into that.  It took me awhile to figure out what moved me and from that moment my life started to level out.

2009 SEPTEMBER - I went back to school took 3 classes toward my accounting degree.  I felt like I was FINALLY taking my life back!

2009 DECEMBER - My only son and his wife brought my mother's first great-grandchild into this world.  Since they were living in Colorado at the time, it was a total family event where everyone, and I mean everyone, in the family attended.  HE arrived the day after Christmas and it was BY FAR the best Christmas present I could have EVER gotten and my second Christmas with Clyde I got my own motorcycle, so that is saying something pretty BIG!!!

2010 JANUARY - Unemployment granted me money to go back to school and get my degree.  They had two main stipulations.  It had to be done in 1 years time and I had to get a certificate or a degree.  I went back and that year was insane.  SOOOO many things happened to derail my pursuit but I stuck with it.  Thankfully I took online classes because we had a few major family things that came up that needed me in other states and I was able to pick up and go. 

2010 MARCH - My mother-in-law died.  It was very sudden and took us all by surprise.  It was good that we went back to Tennessee because it helped Clyde bond closer with his step-dad, see his sister and her children and celebrate his mom's life.

2010 JULY - My older (by six years) sister left this world to go on to bigger and better pursuits.
It was incredibly quick from the time we found out until she left.  It reinforces that old age wisdom to always tell those you love that YOU LOVE THEM and never let a chance go by to hug those you care about.  AND even though you don't always get along (most siblings tend to have a grinding need to be nasty to each other at least occasionally), I am here to tell you that YOU will miss them when they are gone.

2010 AUGUST - My "adopted" soldier got married in Michigan.

2010 DECEMBER - I graduated from college with my associates in accounting.

2011 JUNE - Started my business with my friend Barb.

2012 MAY - My son graduated college with a degree in Business Law.

2015 APRIL - My GrandNephew was born. I took a train to the city.  I of course stayed with my mother.  It was the first time I truly noticed, or allowed myself to notice that my mother was slowing down a bit, not remembering as well (She had a memory that should have been written down in the record books - my poor father.) and so I made a promise to myself to come in a few times a year to check on her. 

2015 May 16-23 - Took a trip with Barb to Texas to see her sister in the hospital.  The Waco biker incident happened on May 17th.  Weird thing happened on the way home.  We strayed from the highway and found a great little dive where people were actually smoking in the restaurant. 

2015 JULY - Came back to the city visit my mother.

2015 SEPTEMBER - Came back to city to spend my mother's birthday with her for a week.

2015 OCTOBER - Stopped in the city for a few hours to have lunch with my mom and of course check on her.  She is getting worse and I am getting worried.  I was on my way to see my son and his family and planned a long span of time between planes.  It was the first time in the last few years I got to hug my Marine.

2016 JANUARY - We were all noticing that my mother was not as good as she had always been.  She was becoming a little forgetful and would ask the same question a few times.  SO un-mother-like!  She always had a mind like a steal trap.  Mother was 91 and still worked and drove in the city.  I had figured whenever I talked with her or came out to see her, she was having a bad day or week.  I think my sister and I just didn't want to see this was something more permanent.  My niece was visiting her for Christmas and called me a little worried because she had to go back home to North Carolina and during her stay my mother had slipped and fallen in the kitchen and hit her head.  I put my work affairs in order and I came back to spend some time with my mom. 

2016 MARCH - I went back to Colorado to spend two weeks home time.  While there my business partner and friend found out her sister was in the hospital and needed to go down and see her.  I was up for a road trip so we went to Texas.  We were there when the craziness went down in Waco and kept running into Federal Agents staying at all the hotels we were in.

2016 MAY 4 - I had been keeping my mother from driving.  I drove everywhere and when I would go home for short periods of time I would make her promise not to drive.  Two weeks before I had talked to her employer (her primary care doctor) about taking away her license.  He was in full agreement with me.  Then she went down to talk to him and he told her "I don't see why you can't drive." So we both went down and talked to him.  He basically threw me under the bus and had her hold her hands out to her sides, close her eyes and touch her nose.  Then he told me, SEE she has coordination.  It wasn't about her coordination but the fact she kept getting lost in the neighborhood or would forget things that happened or what people said... so un-mother-like. It was at that meeting that I had to allow her to drive again as I had no power to stop her IF her doctor didn't think there was anything wrong.  Two weeks later... she totaled her car.  Thankfully she hit a parked car with no one in it.  She was in the hospital for 3 weeks.  Stitches in her left knee, her right calf and across the top of her scalp.

2016 MAY - My youngest daughter graduated from college with a degree in Environmental Design centered around Water Reclamation.  NOW my parenting job certainly is done... RIGHT??? hahahahahahahahahaa!!!  NOW we can start to all be friends, RIGHT??? hahahahahahaa I misunderstood the 20s... nope... so I held out hope for their 30s WAITTTTTTTTT they are all in their 30s now... WTF???  I made this a very quick trip in because I had to get back to my mother.

2016 JUNE - After a horrendous holiday weekend where no one at the hospital seemed to be able to give me advice, I took my mom to get a follow-up MRI.  The next day we went to see her new primary care doctor.  He met me in the hall and told me to take my mom immediately to the ER.  He had read her MRI and said IMMEDIATELY... she was readmitted with bleeding on her brain and she was again in the hospital for another 3 weeks.  My sister came out and tag teamed me so I could go home. 

2016 JULY - My friend and business partner decided to go on a trip to Washington DC with her youngest daughter.  She asked me to tag along as I so desperately needed to not have to think or worry about anything!  I was stressing to the max about leaving my home and my honey for an undetermined length of time to live in CHICAGO, add in the stress of my house still not put together, and in fact more messed up than usual because my youngest daughter had moved back in causing Clyde to move his office from the basement up to the extra bedroom, and all things family that was coming at me from all directions.  I needed to run away from all responsibilities and this was close so I jumped at the chance.  It was the most stressful trip I have ever taken.

2016 JULY - My sister went home, back to Colorado, leaving my mother in the care of a caregiver organization until I could get back.

2016 AUGUST - I came back to the city.  We had determined that my mother could not live alone again.  Her accident just exasperated the problem we had already seen.  THUS has begun my life back in the city of which I tried to escape so many years ago. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!

2016 SEPTEMBER - My mother and I flew out to North Carolina to see both her great-grandsons, her grandson and her granddaughter and their spouses.  The first night was awesome.  I booked us a hotel room on the ocean on an island so she could watch the sunrise and sunset over the ocean.  It was a great trip but my family has a way of making even good things stressful.  What should have been a fun visit for my mom with her Grands turned crazily into makings of a Stephen King horror film.

2016 OCTOBER - I found a part-time job in the city to help me with expenses.  Fortunately its in a decent neighborhood and Unfortunately it takes me anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour and a half each way.  I love the people and the pay isn't bad AND most importantly it is consistent so I am trying to enjoy the city I grew up in.  When I was a kid I never EVER ventured too far into the city.  My daddy was a Chicago Fireman and didn't like us going into the city for just about anything.  That stuck with me all my life.  The drive back and forth to this job was so stomach churningly scary until I started to look at the architecture and notice the street art.  Now I almost look forward to going in each day and discovering something I missed. 

2016 NOVEMBER - I flew my mother into Colorado to spend Thanksgiving with her 5 granddaughters and my sister that live there.  My belief is that my mother is living on borrowed time and won't have the ability to know all of them if we put off the trip.  She stayed with my sister and it gave me a week or so of being home with MY family.  It was well needed.

2016 DECEMBER - Clyde drove out to celebrate Christmas with us.  He brought me the best Christmas present ever, my 3 dogs.  He ended up leaving the two that we refer to as MY dogs and took HIS dog home with him.  They have helped me cope with a lot of the craziness I go through on a daily basis.